It's all so fake.

That's it.


Emerson College '13

--little--strings--of--ideas--

Senior SKIP day. The word skip was in there giving it a bad connotation, causing my mom to believe it was illegal and it would therefore would mess up my permanent record for college and the rest of my life. At 9:30 I sent her this text message:

Hi mom. Would you like to bring a small little sense of joy to the next 5 miserable hours of my life? Tim Hortons before u go to work? PLEASE!! CONSIDER BEFORE SAYING NO ALL OF THE PEOPLE FROM THE CABIN ARE LEAVING AT 10 I AM LOSING IT!!

Luckily this prompted my mother to then proceed to call Colleen, inquiring about this "skip day." Not only did Colleen laugh at her but had to insist that it was ok, my mom didn't believe her at first. Yeah...she's nutty. But she ended up picking me up at 10:30 so it all worked out.

Lately these are people that I think are interesting:
Angela Lewis, Kevin Fitzrandolph, Brandon Carboni, Sam Dry, Mr. Mitton, Mrs. O, Ryan something, Rodney Montgomery, Joe Kreppel, Emily McCormick, Daniel Suarez, Damien Purcell, Ellyn Borowski, Matt Faulkner. Can't help it. It's not that the other people aren't interesting, it's just that for whatever reason these people stick out right now. I may be friends with them or I may not know them very well or I may not even talk to them, ever, but they're just interesting to me. I just want to hear about what they think about different things; they're ideas interest me I guess.

I went to Borders today, and was reading a magazine talking about optimism. That's when I realized I am not so optimistic lately. I really want to get back to positive thinking you know? They talked a little about how to go about doing that. One thing they said to do was to write about where you would see yourself in 10 years if all of your dreams came true and you were living your ideal life. And then write about how you're going to do it. Well, I want to do that with a little spin -- a more short-term ideal life, and how I'm going to do it. I want to write about what my ideal summer would be and how it's going to happen! And I'm not entirely sure what I want my summer to be, but there are some things I know I want to do for sure:

-develop a better sense of style before college --> I'll read up at Borders with magazines and I'll read trustworthy blogs and save my money so I can actually buy clothes!

-stay close with my high school friends --> make sure I text them regularly, don't get lazy. I feel like that's the key to staying in touch with people and maintaining friendships. Make an effort to hang out on weekends, call THEM, let them know you care and keep up to date on their lives. That will hopefully become habit and will last us through college too :)

-lose weight --> ask for a personal trainer from the Y. try to maintain a steady diet making healthy choices and eating just 3 meals a day. go to the gym more regularly.

-intern at artpark --> talk to Ersing tomorrow then offer to call if he doesn't have the time

-make new friends --> practice talking to new people. listen to them. be friendly, not so closed-off. get their contact info and invite them to coffee or something fun. change aquaintances into friends by making plans with them.

-come into myself more --> do things for myself this summer. Read literature. Start knitting. Both are so easy at the park job. Cook. Write. Sing classical, jazz music and art songs. Explore, maybe take a cool class somewhere in something eclectic. Do things other than theatre and learn something before college.

-meet a boy...? --> open up and be more natural. go ahead and talk to someone new. don't be so shy. it's not always enough to just stare from the other side of the room, that doesn't make anything happen. go for it, talk to him and maybe you'll get a number. also have confidence! you hot! a summer fling could be just what you need.

-
That's all I can really think of for now. But yeah apparently that will make me think more positively. Hopefully my little variation works the same way. I feel good right now, so...ok, cool. Reccomend!

[sorry didn't really feel like putting pictures in]

Perplexing.

Does it mean anything that the only classes I like (and can STAND right now) are Wind Ensemble and AP English? And not Bel Canto, Vocal Jazz. Music Theory, etc.?

Does it mean anything when I say that I don't look forward to anything theatre-related or performance-related? And when I have to do it, I dread it?

Does it mean anything that I can't stand show tunes right now?

Does it mean anything that all I can listen to is WBLK, Jazz and Passion Pit?

Does it mean anything that I kind of want to cut out all theatre-related things from my summer?

Does it seem wrong that I can't motivate myself to practice any singing except for jazz standards?

Does it seem wrong that I care more about clothes right now than I do sheet music?

Does it seem wrong that I am not going to get the chance to explore ANYTHING when I go to college? And not even the amazing city I'll be living in?

SO.

...uh should I just hope that I become re-enthused in the fall?

Oh, Emerson!

Why can't college come sooner? I understand that I should be cherishing these "final moments" with friends and family and yeeaaaah yeah. But hey world, listen. I have long outgrown high school and every minute of every hour I spend there is SHEER MISERY. Happiness and High School are 2 mutually exclusive things-- they can't both exist at the same time!!

But at least I have an amazing college to look forward to. And a perk? In the Boston Commons, right across from Emerson are Swan Boats:

Such an odd "mezcla" of emotions

First of all, I have to inform you of a new talent I have discovered: the talent of BAILAR.

As in sexy Spanish dancing. Merengue hip bumps, Salsa chase turns, baby I got it all. Thanks to Dana (pronounced DAH-nah) I am on the track to latina stardom. Not to mention my unforgettable partner, Lindsey. She has helped make this all possible. Hopefully with a little more practice, we can look more like these other salsa competition pair:

And I need to vent too. Sorry I can't be all fun and games for you, readers. But that Jazzy Lady by the Name of Bri? That author? DAS ME.

So I just have been trying to avoid stress at all costs nowadays, taking things easy, staying out of any and all drama, choosing to kind of coast instead of checking out for the rest of the year. But the thing is its kind of IMPOSSIBLE until after next week. I just gotta get through that. My 2 AP Exams, the Mothers Day concert, this jazz concert I should be getting ready for, the the AWFUL improv solo I have in the gospel mass, the hours and hours of studying I have to do this weekend while prepping for the solo because I have no idea where to start ughhh. In the rehearsal yesterday, I was so lacking energy and inspiration. It was embarassing, I just was nervous and uncomfortable and bad. I was wishing I could have gotten a more straightforward solo. BUT hey, why would I want to be restricted to notes on a page? I want to sing what I feel! Mmmm make the notes fit to MY range! Who da boss? Me me me. And I know I can rock out on the solo if I just become more familiar with the vamps and the CD and the choir part. I need to release creative energy you know what I'm saying? Get a little crazy. This is my last mom day concert and I want to go out with a bang! I'm going to Emerson! Who knows when I'll get to improv again??!! This is going to be good, it has to be. So it will.

There, done venting **



(editor's note: ** for now)

Ah, bliss.

Right now I'm chilling out before I go to REVOLUTION tonight (which I'm hoping will be better than it has been in rehearsal). Listening to Iron & Wine, drinking Traditional Medicinals throat coat tea, eating celery with panut butter and Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuits. I'll probably take a hot shower and then straighten my hair. Maybe listen to another chapter of Coraline (which by the way costs $12.95, and the British guy that narrates it? He's the AUTHOR. How amazing is that?). I don't know why I'm blogging about this. I just feel so content right now. And writing relaxes me. So I guess I'm just adding it to my mixture of relaxing things I'm participating in right now hah.

REVOLUTION is basically Vietnam 101: the musical. It has a film projection and everything. But this show really is a lot cooler, I think. I'm really hoping the audience likes it...there are some beautiful moments. I just hope they outweigh the sloppy ones. I mess up the dance moves like it's my job.

A lot of the lyrics are actually pretty poignant. I love listening to the original Beatles songs....they were so different and creative. Hey Jude completely kicks Across the Universe's ass. I love Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly

A girl with kaleidescope eyes

Cellophane flowers of yellow and green

Towering over your head

Look for the girl with the sun in her eyes

And she's gone

And I love Here Comes the Sun. I know the lyrics are pretty simplistic. But put together with the music, I really like them. Okay I'm rambling at this point. Sorry.

By the way here's a pair of shoes I picked up at Amvets. They caught my eye, but I'm not really sure if I like them anymore. Ehhhh find?

The soles say made in Italy and they're vintage-y looking but...still not sure. They look almost Western to me. Opinions appreciated.

Innovation

I love creative people. I love talking to them, watching them (though not stalking) and I love seeing the crazy stuff they come up with. It may not be logical but it is fun.

The "Apple Jacket." It keeps your apple nice and cozy and doesn't let it get bruised. I usually get huge Golden Delicious apples though...they would probably be an XXL.

"Anti-Theft Lunch Bags." They are the perfect scheme for those sneaky students or co-workers that want to steal a bite of your sandwich. The plastic bags have green spots on them that look like mold...nobody will be touching your food, for

LOVE this one. These rings are called "horny cameos." It shows you how the Victorians really were, as their caption says.

A new way to recycle plastic bags....boots! So innovative.