Quiet Revenge.

There's a girl. I will not name names in case I ever crave widespread blogging popularity and start telling people to read&follow. However. There's a girl. We both were "the new girls" at the same time in public school, 5th grade. In the same class too. It was a looped up class, making it hard to assimilate to an already tight-knit bunch. I played it cool and ended up making a bunch of friends later on. Not this girl. She was pretty so most people wanted to be her friend. But this girl fought and fought to be in the popular crew. She laughed extra loud at their jokes, begged for attention, talked about the people they talked about, would literally follow them. This drove me absolutely crazy, as it did them too. But she bitched her way to the top. Eventually they let her "in" to their clique and into popularity (ooh) and she's been there ever since. All throughout high school and everything. Its always bugged me. But now:

Her face is fat. Like really fat. Noticeably. Maybe its just really wide. Or maybe that's just where the fat goes. Hey we're all different.

But yeah. Her face = fat.
:)


Also:
A boy I know was being dumb after a not-so-innocent run-in we had with each other. We stopped talking for a while, mainly his fault. I saw him tonight for the first time in months (we hadn't even spoken in months). I kind of rejected him. And I was wearing a short black dress and looked really hot. He was wearing a pupa shell necklace.
:)

Not done.

Aphorism: a short, often witty statement of a principle or a truth about life.
A small collection:

A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment. An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
George Bernard Shaw


All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy.
Peter Wastholm

Take care of luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
Dorothy Parker

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
Dorothy Parker

I can resist everything except temptation.
Oscar Wilde

Boring people are a reflection of boring people.
Doug Horton

A man is a critic when he cannot be an artist, in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier.
Gustave Flaubert

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination
Oscar Wilde

A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world.
Edmond Jules Goncourt

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Voltaire

Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created.
Unknown

Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after one grows up.
Pablo Picasso

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail.
Luciano Pavarotti

Ever notice that "what the hell" is always the right decision?
Marilyn Monroe

A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants.
Arthur Schopenhauer

Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you will cease to be so.
John Stuart Mill

Most modern calendars mar the sweet simplicity of our lives by reminding us that each day that passes is the anniversary of some perfectly uninteresting event.
Oscar Wilde

Be good and you will be lonesome.
Mark Twain

Life is ours to be spent, not saved.
D. H. Lawrence

There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mahatma Gandhi

After I'm dead, I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Marcus Porcius Cato

We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from it.
William Osler

Why ask why? If it's raining it just is.
Doug Horton

Experience, as a desire for experience, does not come off. We must not study ourselves while having an experience.
Friedrich Nietzsche

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do…?
Friedrich Nietzsche

A witty saying proves nothing.
Voltaire

I LOVE APHORISMS.

I'm on to them!

So I may have came off as mildly perturbed yesterday in that post about, you know, the concert tonight. But I wasn't sulking about it. I wasn't crying or anything. Or pouting, or giving my parents grief. In essence, I was being an angel, really. I was just genuinely sad. I didn't go up to my room. I was just in the living room on the laptop. Playing music, being quiet. This was after the blog post. You see, often I seem to blog about something that I feel really emotional about (especially if I'm angry/upset) and I splatter my ideas out on this webpage and just let it out. Then, once I click "publish" its nearly impossible for me to go on feeling bad. Whatever rage I had is up on the internet and its left there, and I move on with my day/life. Its pretty great. Love ya blogger!

ANYWAY, so I was feeling ok, you know? Not enraged as I was, but just down. Unhappy, but not obnoxiously so. My mom takes my brother Jimmy to bed, and the rest of my family is just peacefully coexisting in the room. So after my mom comes back, she says to my dad, "hey, why don't we buy Brianna's laptop tonight?" My dad gives her a puzzled look. "Weren't we going to wait a month?" he asks. "Well...I thought we could get it now. I know Bri is looking forward to it..."

And she keeps giving me this look. And I'm just sadly looking back. And she keeps on timidly looking at me this same way. And I'm like ...whaa-? when suddenly it HIT me. She was trying to please me. She was doing that cliché Popular Teen Movie/ ABC family original series "Greek" type of thing -- win back my love with materialism! Even though I wasn't giving her a hard time or anything! She just wanted to make it up to me and be in my good graces again through expenditure!

And my thoughts were proven correct when she insisted on buying an even nicer Mac than we had initially talked about. She said it was because she wants it to "last all 4 years of college" but come on. I know what she was trying to pull.

I should be disgusted by this. I resisted even when she asked me if I wanted to buy a laptop that night. I told her I didn't care. And I acted very demure for a while. Saying how the other computer was more economical, even if I didn't like it aesthetically. I tried not to smile and be of high spirits. I tried til I was blue in the face. But in the end, I loved that damn computer so much! Its just perfect! And then picking out what the engraved message would be on my new iPod touch! Oh it just filled me with that bubbly sensation that consumerism unfortunately brings! Not only was I smiling, I was grinning! Like a fool.

Guess at heart I'm just a whiny, greedy kid during the Christmas season -- thanks Mom & Pop! ;)

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK MY GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKING SHITTY ASS-WIPE-OF-A-LIFE!!!

So. Apparently TODAY my mom scheduled for TOMORROW NIGHT (yes Friday night) a Fathers Day dinner with my grandparents (again, let me reiterate, Friday night). No, she did not ask anybody. She's working all weekend, so she wanted to schedule something with them.

You may be wondering why that would upset me to this extremity of despair.
Well. Tomorrow happens to be the NYLON Summer Music Tour. Patrick Wolf, Living Things, Jaguar Love and the Plastiscenes.



I have been planning to go to the NYLON Summer Tour with Corby for oh, about a year. I exaggerate a lot. However. That, my friend, is not an exaggeration. We have been saying how we should go since August. We were planning on going all the way out to Toronto for this concert. THAT'S how badly we wanted to go. We worked out all of the little details. We thought about who would drive, who we could bring with us, etc. But THEN, I got a tweet from NYLON in early May that said tour tickets went on sale! So I checked the website! And oh! What a line-up! Corby was just telling me THAT DAY how amazing Patrick Wolf is. How he practically idolizes this man. And wants his body, and whatever else. So of course I send him a text in hysterics like crying about how amazing it would be. But THEN THEN THEN! I looked at the tour schedule. And what? What is that? THEY'RE COMING TO BUFFALO?!?!?!?! That is unheard of! Simply a weird twist of fate! An unorthodox happenstance! A bizzare coincidence! Mind-blowing! I saw Corby the very next day and we were basically jumping up and down and making love in celebration. We were saying how we just had to get on ticketmaster and get them that very day! They were finally on sale! A mere $14!!

Well, needless to say, we didn't. We laughed Ho ho! nobody in Buffalo would bother going to a NYLON concert! Like Buffalonians know anything! Bah! Why bother getting them ahead of time? That's not what we do. We'll get them at the door.

If only I wasn't so childish and stubborn on being lazy. If I had just gotten a ticket, there's no way I would have to go this dinner. But no. THAT is where I shall be. Corby is taking someone else. He is going to tell me about it in a polite and not overly excited fashion. I am going to sulk. In misery. A miserable sulk. Not that you could have a joyous sulk, but still.

And I can't even get around this. Because my grandpa had a stroke in the fall, my mom is using that to guilt me. And while I understand, it's just so frusterating. I am really pissed that she did that without considering anyone else. UGH.

Ok, blogger.com, you're the person I decided to vent to because as of now I am in my living room and have to put a smile on. Fuck.

It's all so fake.

That's it.


Emerson College '13

--little--strings--of--ideas--

Senior SKIP day. The word skip was in there giving it a bad connotation, causing my mom to believe it was illegal and it would therefore would mess up my permanent record for college and the rest of my life. At 9:30 I sent her this text message:

Hi mom. Would you like to bring a small little sense of joy to the next 5 miserable hours of my life? Tim Hortons before u go to work? PLEASE!! CONSIDER BEFORE SAYING NO ALL OF THE PEOPLE FROM THE CABIN ARE LEAVING AT 10 I AM LOSING IT!!

Luckily this prompted my mother to then proceed to call Colleen, inquiring about this "skip day." Not only did Colleen laugh at her but had to insist that it was ok, my mom didn't believe her at first. Yeah...she's nutty. But she ended up picking me up at 10:30 so it all worked out.

Lately these are people that I think are interesting:
Angela Lewis, Kevin Fitzrandolph, Brandon Carboni, Sam Dry, Mr. Mitton, Mrs. O, Ryan something, Rodney Montgomery, Joe Kreppel, Emily McCormick, Daniel Suarez, Damien Purcell, Ellyn Borowski, Matt Faulkner. Can't help it. It's not that the other people aren't interesting, it's just that for whatever reason these people stick out right now. I may be friends with them or I may not know them very well or I may not even talk to them, ever, but they're just interesting to me. I just want to hear about what they think about different things; they're ideas interest me I guess.

I went to Borders today, and was reading a magazine talking about optimism. That's when I realized I am not so optimistic lately. I really want to get back to positive thinking you know? They talked a little about how to go about doing that. One thing they said to do was to write about where you would see yourself in 10 years if all of your dreams came true and you were living your ideal life. And then write about how you're going to do it. Well, I want to do that with a little spin -- a more short-term ideal life, and how I'm going to do it. I want to write about what my ideal summer would be and how it's going to happen! And I'm not entirely sure what I want my summer to be, but there are some things I know I want to do for sure:

-develop a better sense of style before college --> I'll read up at Borders with magazines and I'll read trustworthy blogs and save my money so I can actually buy clothes!

-stay close with my high school friends --> make sure I text them regularly, don't get lazy. I feel like that's the key to staying in touch with people and maintaining friendships. Make an effort to hang out on weekends, call THEM, let them know you care and keep up to date on their lives. That will hopefully become habit and will last us through college too :)

-lose weight --> ask for a personal trainer from the Y. try to maintain a steady diet making healthy choices and eating just 3 meals a day. go to the gym more regularly.

-intern at artpark --> talk to Ersing tomorrow then offer to call if he doesn't have the time

-make new friends --> practice talking to new people. listen to them. be friendly, not so closed-off. get their contact info and invite them to coffee or something fun. change aquaintances into friends by making plans with them.

-come into myself more --> do things for myself this summer. Read literature. Start knitting. Both are so easy at the park job. Cook. Write. Sing classical, jazz music and art songs. Explore, maybe take a cool class somewhere in something eclectic. Do things other than theatre and learn something before college.

-meet a boy...? --> open up and be more natural. go ahead and talk to someone new. don't be so shy. it's not always enough to just stare from the other side of the room, that doesn't make anything happen. go for it, talk to him and maybe you'll get a number. also have confidence! you hot! a summer fling could be just what you need.

-
That's all I can really think of for now. But yeah apparently that will make me think more positively. Hopefully my little variation works the same way. I feel good right now, so...ok, cool. Reccomend!

[sorry didn't really feel like putting pictures in]